On How the School System Doesn't Support The Working Parent... Part 2

I don't know if I was in complete denial or how it is that I never realized this fact, but I was always blissfully ignorant of how Julia entering the school system would change things as a working parent.  I thought it was stressful just figuring out who was going to take care of her when she was a baby.  But babysitters and daycare centers work around your work schedule.  Despite working in a school, I mistakenly thought that I was in the best position to be able to either drop her off and/or pick her up at school when she started because we would follow a similar schedule.  Since starting Pre-K, it turns out that I can't do either. She cannot start school any earlier than 8:20 and cannot leave school any later than 2:40.  My work schedule is from 8:00-3:30.  So close, yet not close enough.  This new schedule has made it very difficult to work around for both Carl and I.  Carl now drops her off at school which required a reluctant adjustment in his schedule and my parents pick her up daily which was a very reluctant option for me.  Unfortunately, my parents are off to China next week for the next 6 weeks and my best friend and I will be sharing that duty until they return, which means I have to adjust my work schedule which isn't the most preferred option considering I work in a school. But that's temporary and even relying on my parents when they get back is too.  Unfortunately, the after school program housed at Julia's school does not accept Pre-K students right now but it irks me that I will eventually have to depend on and pay for an after school program for the next several years until she can become a "latch key kid" (another thing I hate) just so I can work .

And there's more.

Since Julia started Pre-K, there have been numerous events parents are invited to participate in - fundraisers, mainly, but some other things like "Reading Day" where parents come in and read to their child and classmate(s), school trips to the farm and parent volunteers for Picture Day.  These have or will take place during the day and I will have missed them all.  Just recently, Julia informed me that her classmates parents will be chaperoning her school trip and she asked me why I wouldn't be doing the same.  I gave my usual pat answer, "Well, because mommy needs to make money."  She proceeded to inform me that we already had money, that Daddy makes money too and then continued to question my need to work and miss the field trip.  Be reminded that she will be turning 4 in December.  Needless to say, I was completely blown away by this conversation and not soon after felt pretty darn horrible. 

All of these factors make me question how it's even possible to even BE a full time working parent with a school aged child?  My situation in life does not allow me to NOT work and I know that that's the situation for most, especially if you are living in NYC. Although there will be plenty of school event opportunities that I should be able to at least participate in twice or more during the school year and the never ending PTA/Fundraising events at night that I will be involved in, I'd really would like to be involved in the majority of them but I can't.  It really bothers me that schools do not seem to get that and adapt to that.  Luckily, I have a nice support system in place with family, friends and a job that will work with me - I'm fortunate in that respect.  But what happens when I don't have that support system in place anymore?  What do families without one or single working parents do? How do you negotiate the 5 hour school day with your 8 hour work day? How do you participate and feel a sense of involvement in your child's education without it conflicting with your responsibilities at work?   And what about school vacations/holidays?  How do you monitor, supervise and stay involved in your child's life when they're not in school and your work schedule doesn't follow the same school schedule?

Perhaps I'm wrong and instead of the school system working around the working parents, we need to reform our work standards.  Instead of the typical 9 - 5, it should be 9 - 3:00 and our vacation schedule matches up with each other.  But until Hell freezes over, I will be forever trying to work out the right balance between working and parenting - or well, at least until she graduates high school.