On Surviving My Beastly Toddler's "MINE" Phase...

Julia has a new nickname and it's "Beast" because that's what she's become. She has long entered the world of "toddlerdom" and has begun to show that she is independent, capable and fierce. She is toddler, hear her.... meow?

She got the concept of "mine" when I began weaning her from breastfeeding. When once oh so long ago, she was given free access at a mere pull and tug of my shirt - she was now told "No, darling, that's mama's, that's mine."

She was still sweet then.

Then, the absolute realization came when she saw me sipping my Slurpee and began trying to grab it out of my hands to drink the whole damn thing. I, as usual told her, "No, sweetheart, that's mama's - it's mine." She commenced the "freak out" and began screaming "Das miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine". If we were at home, I would've just ignored her and place the Slurpee out of sight, but instead, we were at Bed, Bath and Beyond doing some shopping. Of course, the worst thing was the hundreds of people passing by to stare at the mother whose kid is having a meltdown in public and thinking "Why the hell didn't you just give her the Slurpee?" Well quite frankly, because I was really thirsty and I have this thing about giving too much sugar to my one and a half year old? And did I mention, I was 'effing thirsty?!

So my attitude to all the onlookers was basically, "Screw you people, I'm a freaking behavior analyst, ok? I'm having a teachable moment here!" and continued to let my child meltdown for about 30-45 minutes before she finally moved to quietly saying to herself "(sniff, sniff) Das my juice" every 10 minutes.

It wasn't a good shopping trip and Carl and I have, since then, began calling any Slurpees we bring home "coffee". (After giving her a taste of the real thing, months ago, she's finally determined that she doesn't like coffee.)

So exactly who was taught here, remains questionable.

Now, Julia is all about telling you exactly what is hers and to not touch them.

"Das my book! Don't touch my book!"

"Das my shirt! Don't touch my shirt!"

"Das my kitty! Don't touch my kitty!"

"Das my head! Don't touch my head!"

"Das my belly button! Don't touch my belly button!"

"Das my butt! Don't touch my butt!"

It used to be cute...not so much now.

Although we allow her to take "ownership" of things, we don't permit that behavior to occur all the time and some people gaffed at the idea that we didn't allow our child to engage in normal, developmentally, appropriate behavior. "Just ignore it" I've heard, "it's perfectly normal".

OF COURSE IT'S NORMAL! But that doesn't mean I'm not going to address my child when she tells a sweet little old lady "Don't touch me! Das MY shoe!" or "Stop it! Das my mouth!" when she's biting on the wooden pew in front of me at church. What mommies fail to realize after reading website after website about appropriate developmental stages, is that phases are important learning experiences to move onto the next phase. So ignoring it and allowing it to simply happen because 2 year olds are suppose to do that, doesn't teach them to learn other important life lessons like social rules and etiquette - like don't be rude to little old women and wood is not for chewing!

So in the meantime, as we soldier on through this insufferable phase, Julia is allowed to have certain ownership and control for some things, in the right situation and in the right context.

Otherwise, everything belongs to ME!

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