On my adventures in potty training and why I started at 15 months...

I started exposing Julia to the potty at 15 months. I would've started aggressively then, but Carl was just not into it and when the other parent is not into it, there's just no point. But at about 18 months I talked him into participating and he either gave up in the sorta "Jon" in the "Jon and Kate" kinda way or Julia convinced him that she was ready by looking at him, grabbing her crotch and saying "poo poo?".

People constantly looked at me funny when I said I was potty training Julia. Constantly. I also heard many a story about how kids will just do it when "it's the right time" or I potty trained lil Johnny boy too early and it backfired....yada, yada. Some just looked at me like I was crazy. Carl was one of them. He tried to convince me, weakly, that she was just too young to be potty trained. You can't convince a headstrong mama who also happens to work in the special education field where potty training is one of the major things I am involved with.

Truth be told, Carl had told me about potty training newborns by using an audible cue when Julia was around 3months old. Although I don't think he was completely serious about doing it, he did mention maybe "I" would want to do that - with the key word being "me" of course. During the time my attitude was more of "Are you effin' kidding me? You want me to add potty training to the every 2 hour boob feeding schedule too?". I didn't know exactly when I planned on potty training, I just figured I would do it when the time was right. The time came when my best friend was changing her 18 month old's poop filled diaper. I remember asking her "Is that the size of her typical poop?". After a heavy sigh and a defeated sounding "Yup", I was determined there was no way I was going to be doing that.

So there you have it, the cat's outta the bag. I potty trained Julia early because I didn't want to deal with the bigger and smellier poop as she got older. I wish I could say it was because I knew statistically that the rest of the world potty train their kids early on or because there isn't any supporting evidence that states early potty training is damaging to the kid's psyche or that I'm an expert on potty training or that daycare would reduce their tuition by 110 bucks a month just because she was potty trained! Nope, it was out of pure selfishness but everyone else hears the statistics and lack of research justifications.

So Julia was poop trained by 18 months.

I say I began aggressively potty training at 18 months but that's not completely true. I left out one crucial step in all of this that despite my training, despite what I've told hundreds of parents in the past, despite how much I advocate for it, despite what I've told hundreds of teachers...instead of underwear, I USED PULL UPS. I'm so ashamed.

It has been this significant event in my life that I have regretted all the times I have tsk'd tsk'd a parent when they told me they were still using pull ups and decided that despite my 14 years in the field, I didn't know SHIT until I became a parent and began experiencing it all myself. I tried underwear one day, she peed all over my floor, I was disgusted when I was cleaning it up, I said "pull ups it is!" and that was that. The exact excuse every parent who came my way soliciting potty training advice said to me. Sigh.

I did also try the "bare bottom" method where I stripped her naked and allowed her to roam free in carpet free zones one afternoon. In fact, that method is what got her poop trained. She pooped on the floor, I, the professional, freaked out and reprimanded her. And the next day, she was telling us when she needed to poop. I don't know why so many people outside of my field think that I've got the whole child raising thing wrapped around my little finger. What most people don't know is that professionals in the field have a huge delay time when it comes to dealing with our own children. It lasts anywhere from 1 day to 6 months, when finally all that specialized training kicks in and we say "oh right, we should be doing this". And most of the time, it's usually our colleagues that are telling us what to do because we go to them seeking help. And that's what happened to me to a degree. Even though I dilly dallied with the underwear thing here and there, it was one of my teachers who said to me "She needs to be in underwear 24-7".

It didn't matter how many stickers I gave her or during moments of Mama desparation, how many ice cream cones I promised her (although they help reinforce eliminating in the potty, they don't really teach the consequences of being wet)...eventually, I made it to the final step in the process which should've been my first step all along. I said goodbye to all things diaper like and put her in underwear. In fact, even the occasional pull up during long trips in the car is a no-no because it only served to confuse her. I cleaned the mess up over and over again, gave her the light reprimand, praised her for staying dry intermittently throughout the day and she finally got it. We've had some setbacks here and there (especially when we're dragging her around from place to place and can't get to a bathroom) but she pretty much has it and now I save 110 bucks a month in daycare fees!

Sometimes my "issues" are my best friends....